Please share a bit of your story:
My entire life I was the chubby kid. I was the chubby kid in my family. My brother and sister were half my size. I heard my entire life nothing but negative comments about how I looked and my weight. I was called pretty much every name you can associate with someone being overweight. After you hear those comments your entire life, you tend to become harsh on the outside. I formed tough skin and tried to act like I didn’t hear the comments people made or act like it didn’t bother me, but on the inside it tore me up and I wanted nothing more than to be “skinny”. My self-esteem and confidence were pretty much non existent. I had learned to never really deal with my emotions. I never told anyone what was wrong. I was the chubby friend all my friends. They were at least half my size so going out with them all the time always issued even more comments and whispers from people. Guys only paid attention to me if they wanted to talk to one of my friends. I never really had a boyfriend or really any guy in my life.
By the time I had got into college in ’07 I had pretty much tried to accept that I was going to be big, that didn’t change deep down that I didn’t want to be fat anymore. My confidence and self esteem had got a little better in college as I tried to accept myself. Every year I would tell myself this was the year I would lose weight and start over, but it never happened. I stayed the same every year. When my brother got engaged and my soon-to-be sister in law asked me to be in the wedding I told myself I would be skinny for their wedding. Well their wedding rolled around and I was still wearing size 20 and weighing in around 260lbs. The heaviest I topped out at was 272, which is the Roman numerals on my right wrist, an everyday reminder of where I started. (I honestly don’t even remember when I saw that number, I’m pretty sure it was my sophomore yr of college. I hated myself for getting that big and vowed to never weigh more than that) In 2012 I tried again to lose weight again and started educating myself on nutrition and the proper way to lose weight.
I had finally gotten too tired of being overweight. As a photographer, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep being overweight if I wanted to shoot weddings the rest of my life since I was dead tired for 2 days after a wedding. My knees killed, my back was dead, I didn’t want to walk because my feet would hurt so bad. I knew my body couldn’t physically handle me being so overweight.
I had started cleaning up my diet in October of 2012, I cut out dairy and started adding more vegetables to my diet. I had always had a gym membership and luckily liked working out, but I still didn’t see results.
It wasn’t until the start of 2013 that I had gotten 100% serious. I bought a Groupon just before New Years for a boot camp. It was m/w/f at 6:30 in the morning ( I had gotten realistic with myself and realized I need to work out in the morning, I made too many excuses to not work out at night. I started choosing going out with friends instead of going to the gym). The boot camp was taught by an ex state trooper captain. Buying that Groupon was the best thing I did for myself. When I started the boot camp Dec 31, 2012, I weighed 255lbs. I had gotten serious about my diet. I had literally cut out all processed foods, most dairy, most bread/carbs. I started paying attention to what was in food and what those ingredients did to my body. I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) which already set me back and made it more difficult for me to lose weight, but once I cut out certain foods my weight went down every single Friday from January to July. I plateaued at about 207 from July until December. I did a 1 week juice to break my plateau and lost 10 more lbs. I’m not 100% where I want to be. But I’m trying to learn to be okay with who I am now.
2013 was an amazing year with getting healthy. The easy part is the physical health. I’m now dealing with the mental health. I still see myself as the girl who still weighs 260 lbs and not the girl who weighs 190 lbs and fits into a size 14.
I’m excited to see what 2014 brings to my life business and health wise. I go back to my doctor in April for a checkup and I’ll have my pcos re-evaluated ( I was diagnosed with it in 2007 and haven’t been re-evaluated since). I’m excited to have left 2013 behind and start 2014 with a positive outlook and a healthy mind.
What encouraging words would you give to someone who shares a similar story?
Don’t give up, keep going, even if you think it’s not working. Trust the process and believe in yourself.